Pom Dame Review – My Wife’s Gender-Affirming Toy

Pom Dame Review – My Wife’s Gender-Affirming Toy

Dame Pom is a gender affirming toy for my genderqueer and transwoman partner.

The Vibed is one of my favorite places to work with, so I couldn’t wait to write my Dame Pom review with the perspective, too, of my wife who is a genderqueer transwoman. They’re responsive and quick. They answer questions when I have them. A bit ago, they sent me four toys: Viotec Tethys, Her Silicone Fun Tongue, and the Avant D15. (As of the time of this publication, I’m running a giveaway for the Viotec Tethys.)

This is a fascinating review because this toy turned out to be a gender-affirming vibrator for my wife. Sex is something that isn’t always enjoyable for her because of her body dysmorphia as a genderqueer transwoman, so we typically “do me.” I love this toy, but I was so happy when she took it from my drawer and kept it beside her side of the bed.

Read on for my review of the Dame Pom.

Design | Toy in Use  | Material, Care, and Keeping | Rose’s Experience | Wife’s Experience |  Summary  | Support On Her Back

Design, Materials, and Care of the Dame Pom

Dame Pom is a rechargeable sex toy that I used on my vulva  and clit and my transwoman partner used against her penis.

Pom is a really cool little vibrating dude. And it’s even cooler now that we found that my wife can use it as a gender-affirming toy as a transwoman. It’s a flexible, waterproof, external vibrator. The Dame Pom’s stout form rests in your palm comfortably, and, with your guidance, it forms around your genitals. The Pom is a silicone toy with two buttons: one on the back and one on the front. Silicone is a body-safe material, and the whole toy is easy to clean. You wash it with soap and water. You’re good to go. Don’t worry about the rechargeable connection -that’s waterproof too.

The head of the Dame Pom has a tip on the tip of the toys’ shaft that you can use for pinpoint stimulation, something I personally don’t like all that much anymore. However, it’s fun to be able to target different parts of your anatomy with it. My wife mostly used this toy. While I liked it, it’s a better toy for her.

The vibrations of the Dame Pom are powerful and rumbly, a combination I seek out. If I were to rate the vibrations alone for this toy, putting aside the combinations and intensities, the Dame Pom is a 10/10.

Toy in Use

The Dame Pom for my transwoman wife looks a bit odd and lumpy, that's because it's a flexible toy.
The Dame Pome looks a bit odd and lumpy. That’s because it’s a flexible, almost free-floating, toy.

The Dame Pom is an intuitive toy when you watch a video on working it or reading a blog. I, personally, did not find it easy to figure out on my own. However, with little practice, I got the hang of it.

There are two buttons: you press and hold the button on the front to turn it on; the back button is where it gets fun. The back button gives you a lot of control. There are five patterns and five intensities. To cycle through the patterns and turn the toy on, you press the front button. The back button controls the intensity. If you press the back button, it’ll lead you through intensities in steps. If you press and hold, then the intensity will increase gradually.

Rose’s Experience as a Ciswoman

I found that the Dame Pom was a comfortable toy to use. It took a little while to figure out how the damn things work with all their easy-to-press buttons. In fact, during use, I still get confused. I love that this toy’s inner workings are not stiff and that it moves with my body. I found that the “sharp” little tip of the palm vibrator provided pinpoint stimulation against my clit. However, I do prefer using it along my entire vulva rather than pinpoint stimulation.

I was able to encompass my entire vulva with this toy and I stimulated my anus with the pinpoint tip of this toy to mimic rimming. I don’t usually use toys on my ass but it’s a fun thing to try every so often and the Pom was a perfect toy to use externally against my butthole.

The vibrations are exactly what I need to come, which would give this toy a permanent place on my nightstand. However, this toy wasn’t for me as soon as my wife used it. Read on for her experience with this toy as a transwoman.

Wife’s Experience with the Dame Pom as a Genderqueer Transwoman

This is an exciting section. I interviewed my wife for her experience with the Pom, publishing this with her approval and feedback. Finding a toy that can stimulate her body and provoke the feeling of having a vulva was so validating for her. My wife identifies as a transwoman and a genderqueer individual. She’s comfortable with either description so I will be using both in this review.

My wife often plays with me but what isn’t common is that we find a toy for her anatomy. She doesn’t like attention brought to her genitals because of her body dysmorphia. We don’t branch out for toys for her beyond the occasional butt plug, but we do want to try more. When we find a butt plug that works, we look forward to using it again but finding a vibrator was so very unusual in our toy play.

The Pom is what my wife calls a “gender-affirming toy” that she enjoys as a genderqueer, transwoman. She likes vibrations, but she didn’t have a toy that could cover her dick until the Pom. She’s able to take the Pom in her hand and cover her penis with the toy, and to her, it feels as though she is stimulating her vulva. I am so happy to get the feedback that she, as a genderqueer woman, can experience that without having a vulva. It’s incredibly affirming for her to use a toy that brings her pleasure in a manner that does not trigger body dysmorphia.

I can’t tell you how excited we are that we discovered the Dame Pom, and we have a CLF Starsi in the mail to explore palm-encompassing vibrators for her.


The Dame Pom is one of the most comfortable toys I’ve had the pleasure of holding in my palm. Seriously, it is so easy to hold and manipulate. The vibrations are strong and rumbly, and the magnetic charger for this rechargeable toy is strong. The Dame Pom is now one of the staples in our bedroom, and I was thrilled to be able to get my wife in on this review.

On top of that, not only did I enjoy this toy, but my wife did as well. It turned out to be a gender-affirming toy for her to use on the genitals that she’s not comfortable with as a transwoman. To me, that makes this toy priceless.

Support On Her Back

Did this review help you? I’d love it if you’d consider purchasing your future toys from my affiliates. At no extra cost to you, your purchase supports my blog. Go check them out and please clear your cookies if you want to make a purchase! I wouldn’t list them if I didn’t like them. I also have a Patreon account you can sub to over here.

Dame Pome Flexible Vibrator





  • Gender affirming sex toy
  • Rumbly vibrations
  • Penis toy of sorts
  • Toy for vulva, anus, and penis
  • Broad construction
  • Silicone sex toy
  • Rechargeable, magnetic charger

14 thoughts on “Pom Dame Review – My Wife’s Gender-Affirming Toy

  1. Hooray for an affirming sex toys! I feel like the Dame Pom is what that one “inclusive” WFS vibrator (which shall remain nameless) tried and failed to be.

      1. W*ldfl*wer Sex – they’re a sex toy shop that has done some very racist & not okay things. Censored bc I don’t want to give them any more exposure 😤

  2. I’m glad your wife found a toy she likes! Dame seems to be really making an effort to make their toys inclusive.

  3. I’m so glad she enjoys it (and the broad surface stimulation sounds promising for me)….

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