Peachu: A Remarkably Disappointing Review

Peachu: A Remarkably Disappointing Review

The marketing is excellent, as are the packaging and the charging case. Hell, even the toy looks to be a better quality toy than some other toys I’ve tested. But is that enough? Read on to discover my thoughts on the ball of disappointment, the Pink Punch Peachu.

First Impression of this Blob of Disappointment (Peachu)

The Pink Punch Peachu is a waste of materials. Pictured here in it's charging case with cord. It looks fun, all right, but it sure af doesn't hold up.
The case is adorable, but this isn’t a cute “little” toy.

The Pink Punch Peachu is an adorable toy. (I almost said little, let me tell you, this ain’t a “little” toy.) Peachu is a round, squishy, cute ball, and I was so excited when I unboxed it. For starters, the packaging is superb. The thick, durable packaging of the PEACHU is beautiful, and the hard plastic wrap around it, covered in white letters, looks classy AF. And the orange/yellow coloring of the box is just as pretty.  

When I took the PEACHU out of the box, I found that it comes in a case – a significant chance that Pink Punch, for some reason, calls a “tastefully tiny charging case.” Guys, that thing is enormous for a sex toy charging case. It’s up there with the We-Vibe setting cases, with just as good quality as some more high-end sex toys. So is the toy, for that matter. The PEACHU is a massive ball of squishy silicone that looks adorable. 

The Materials, Care, and Keeping of the Disenchanted Pink Punch Peachu

The Peachu is a peach-sized vibrator covered in silicone so you can move. The inside of the peach is firm, while the outer layer of the silicone moves around when you squish it with your fingers. It’s an excellent fidget toy. However, as comfortable as it is to play with, that doesn’t account for the fact that the clit hole isn’t squishy. Essentially, this ball of squishy silicone feels majestic except for the part of the toy that controls the function. 

With silicone toys, it’s best to use a water-based lube. Silicone lube can irreversibly damage your toy, and hybrid lubes also run that risk. I recommend trying lube if you want to try it for a different sensation. I didn’t use lube, and it worked just fine. 

The Peachu is waterproof, which means it’s even easier to clean. Simply soap that shit up and wash with water. Waterproof doesn’t only mean it’s easy to clean. For me, waterproof toys are essential. While I lived in a smaller apartment, I found the only way I was comfortable masturbating was in the bathroom because it was farthest away from my wife working in the living room. I can imagine how many other people find solace in the bathtub as I do. 

Accessibility of this “Air-Pulse” Blob

Pink Punch Peachu is squishy. It has a moveable, frosty clear silicone on top of the surface of the toy.

The Pink Punch Peachu is hard to hold. It’s big and bulky, and when I put it in my wife’s hands, she said there was no way she could have it on a bad day. If your clit is only even slightly larger than my tiny clitoris, there’s no way this will work for your body. If you’re in the market for a toy that is easy to use or even fucking hold, this is not it. 

My Disgruntled Experience with the Pink Punch Peachu vibrator

The Pink Punch Peachu vibrator is a breeze to use and operate. It has a massive body with a small mouthpiece (or hole) for your clit or nipples. I started by turning on the toy and aligning it with my body. My clit is on the small end, so the sucker part of the toy was the perfect size for it. However, this could prove moot to someone with a more prominent clit. It’s not very accommodating at all.

On top of that, something impacted my use of the toy. Inside the mouth of the toy is a bit of silicone that acts like a tongue. It’s what creates the air pulses. However, when I poked the tongue to understand better what it does, it got stuck in the pushed position. When the toy was stuck while running, it created a horrible electronic wine that was very clearly the toy crying out for help. Because the tongue can’t be grasped, starting the toy over is the only way to solve this problem. The two beep vibrations the toy emits when it’s first turned on dislodged the tongue, essentially resetting the toy. 

Watch this video for a look at the Peachu’s atrocious whining (then follow me on YouTube). Also, excuse my fingernails; I was painting.

A defect this fundamental is something hard to excuse. With one wrong nudge, the entire toy stops working and emits an infuriating high-pitch whine. When you pull out a fully-charged toy to fuck, the fact that moving it even slightly too wrong will ruin your masturbation session. While I could come from this toy, it wasn’t worth the effort and disappointment.

Overall Experience: Dissatisfied

Simply put, the Peachu is a waste of materials. It only accommodates a tiny clitoris; although it’s fun and squishy, the rest of the body is useless. This means if your clit is even slightly larger than mine (and mine is small), this toy won’t work for your body. 

This had the potential to be something cute and functional, but it turned out to only be cute. There are other air-pulse toys out there that I’d recommend over the Peachu, like this ghastly pink one (one of my favorites), the classics, a somewhat new brand’s toy air-pulse rendition, or even the simply satisfactory toys. Any of these is better than the Peachu.

Buy the Peachu at Pink Punch

Head on over to Pink Punch to buy the Peachu. Or don’t. Use code “OHB30” for 30% off your purchase!

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Let’s Examine Sex Toys

Do you all tolerate pink toys, or is that a huge turn-off? While I like pink, I typically choose unusual colors because I’m not a sadist and want you all to like me.

Peachu

$109
3.5

In Action

1.0/10

Materials

10.0/10

Functioning

2.0/10

Design - Accessability

1.0/10

Pros

  • It's cute, not much more than that
  • It has a cute little charging station

Cons

  • The tongue gets stuck and makes the toy unusuable
  • Emits a horrible, high-pitch noise when it's touched in a way it doesn't want to be
  • Advertised as "little"
  • Huge blob of dissapointment
  • Just a goddamn waste of materials
  • The charging station is huge because the toy is huge and doesn't necessarily add anything to the design

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