~or~

Am I Taking a Dump?

Shimmy to the right, shimmy to the left, a workout in my ass.

When I got this toy:
After first using the B-balls by Fun Factory, sent to me by Lovehoney, I was confused about their intended purpose. It was a butt plug that doubled as anal beads–VERY big anal beads–but what was with the balls inside of the balls? I couldn’t figure it out. They are eerily similar to the Luna Beads that I tried as Kegel exercisers, what with the jiggling and all that jazz, but for your…butt. In order to give you the best review possible, I hurried over to another tab (as if that wasn’t workout enough!) and emailed the contact I have over at Fun Factory to ask him what was up with the jiggles of the anal balls, other than the fact that it had me working on my dance moves.

The answer that I got was that it has many uses, including–but certainly not limited to–being used by a Top during intercourse, worn on a night “out on the town,” used during penis-vaginal intercourse, allowing both partners to feel it (presumably) them and the jiggliness, and it was suggested to me that I use it in conjunction with a vibrator. Though using the vibrator didn’t do shit with the butt plug, even when I was using my [Hitachi] Magic Wand right against the plug, it’s a good idea to give this a try in case it works better for your body than they did for mine. Regardless, fun stuff, those B-Balls. Let me tell you, I burned many-a-calorie shaking my ass around the house.

Let’s get physical!

Sometimes it’s much harder to write about stoic toys than vibrating toys but with the B-balls you’d think that’s not so much an issue, being many different ways to experience pleasure with them. However, I’m having difficulty saying much more about them than “they jiggle” and the initial “wut?” that you may experience because I cannot try these out with a partner. If you’ve tried them out, or are buying them to use with a partner, let me know what you think in the comments.

This isn’t to say that they’re bad because of it, they certainly have a lot of deeming qualities, such as the ability to be used so many different ways, even more than I can try for you, and it’s tough to forget that you have something up your ass–unless, of course, if you’re moving. If you’re moving then you can’t forget because you just can’t fucking resist dancing and jumping around the house. I’m tempted to try doing yoga with them in but perhaps that is for another time, far off in the future (after my experience with my last butt toy I’m hesitant to get too crazy with them with things up my ass, at least until I have a more regular pooping schedule).

While Fun Factory says that the Bballs are for the beginner/intermediate user, I’d say it’s more on the intermediate side rather than the beginner because of the size of the balls. I loved the shape of the base, which was thin and narrow and nestled quite comfortably between my cheeks. When seated I was able to focus on things other than jacking off, which could either be a negative or a positive, depending on what you think would suit your needs and wants. The idea of having a toy in my butt while doing day-to-day business is a mental turn-on, stimulation that is just as enjoyable to me as physical arousal.

The insertable length of this 5″ toy is 4.5″ long, with the widest point being 4.75″ in girth. The T-bar aids in the removal of the toy and be sure to use lubricant as le butt does not lube naturally. I was given the opportunity to try out Spunk Lube and their hybrid silicone/water-based lube does not damage any of the silicone toys I’ve used to date, including this one. Regardless, test any hybrid lube you want to use on a silicone toy. Ickiness and disappointment can happen if you’re not careful. Because it has a narrow neck along with a comfortable bar that prevents the toy from being sucked up into the black hole that is your (my) unforgiving ass.

The whole deal:

I found the B balls to be incredibly arousing when moving, comfortable when I wasn’t. As it seems to be with me and butt play toys, I didn’t find much wrong (unless you’re this butt toy). Insertion was easy enough, though it may not be gradual enough for the untrained ass, which is why I suggested that it may not be the best toy for anal beginners. Fun Factory makes excellent quality toys, most of which are silicone, and I have full confidence that when you buy a Fun Factory toy you are getting a good quality toy. Until, of course, I’m proven wrong.

Thank you, Lovehoney, for sending me these B-Balls. I’ll update the review when I have a chance to wear them when I do yoga without worrying 😉

EDIT: since publication, their return policy has changed.

I chose the following banner for you to click on to go to their site because I want to note their 365 day return policy. It’s too cool. If these balls don’t measure up to your asses standards, you can totes return it, no questions asked. Click here if you’d like to look at their product description on Fun Factory’s site with my affiliate link so I get a bit in exchange for the review.

Happy fucking, readers!

9.2

Ease of Use

8.0/10

Attractiveness

9.9/10

Quality

9.0/10

Performance

9.9/10